What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody.

mybodyitleaks @ 2008-11-16T00:09:00

2008-11-15T13:14:29Z

Mattie makes me really happy. Even when things aren't great, they are better than I ever hoped for.

That is all.

mybodyitleaks @ 2008-05-12T18:25:00

2008-05-12T08:26:04Z

I am over this week already. That is all.

mybodyitleaks @ 2008-03-30T11:01:00

2008-03-30T00:02:08Z

I gotta find me a place to live.

Gross

2008-02-11T05:08:22Z

That is how I feel. I need to vomit more but I just can't.

mybodyitleaks @ 2008-01-31T03:41:00

2008-01-30T16:43:56Z

I think the fact I am not sleeping hardly at all at the moment, is a much bigger factor in my current moods than I first thought. I can't sleep right now. I feel exhausted. I am agitated. It's now that I start to dwell...Sadly there is only 1 thing that has a proven success rate at helping me sleep and well he is too far away. The more tired I am I think the worse I am when I slip into these moods I've been having.

mybodyitleaks @ 2008-01-29T15:27:00

2008-01-29T04:28:44Z

Cause I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'd understand.

I can't face up to people right now.

I'm not in a bad mood, I just feel anti-social.

Rebecca

2008-01-10T12:35:27Z

And Josh broke up, she is moving home tomorrow. I am not excited.

Bouncing Souls

2007-12-01T16:02:36Z

I felt sick but it was fun they kind of played a shitty set list but the fact that I am seeing Streetlight & RBF next week makes everything seem far better in perspective.
So I haven't been sleeping well, and tonight after bouncing souls I drove Dave home, and I went through a red light without even noticing until Dave pointed it out. Think I am tired much?

In other news I love Mattie too much and it makes me really happy.

I totally had something like good or important to write here, but I am too tired to remember what it was.

mybodyitleaks @ 2007-11-02T22:27:00

2007-11-02T11:31:42Z

I am mood swing. I don't have them. I am one. It's offical. I should be asleep cause my eyes burn from tired. I will be soon. Tonight made me miss Mattie a lot more than usual...when we were talking about things well it's just hard. The distance is hard. But I love him and I can wait until we can be together. I can. I could and I can and I will

Short and sweet

2007-10-23T07:10:02Z

I love Mattie. I miss him. He helps me more than anyone else ever could. I don't know what I would do if he wasn't there.

Sometimes I be a poet

2007-10-13T11:31:44Z

Your canvas is blank
And so you see
I want you to paint me a picture
I want you to paint me
Long strands of dark hair left out to fly free
Light freckles for my face
A pair of grey eyes to see
Draw me a nose, gentle lips, and a chin
Sketch me some ears to hold my earrings
Paint me a neck slender and smooth
Collarbones to run across my shoulders which make deep grooves
Paint shoulders for my arms to join
Two arms which run to my elbows
Then straight to my wrists
Paint me two hands
Ten fingers to touch and to hold
Ten fingers to decorate
To intertwine with yours
Paint me a chest, but only slight
As it leads to my breasts firm and exquisite
Young breasts hide the ribs below
Paint a gentle smattering of freckles to follow
Down my sides to my abdomen
Paint me sweet curves and a bellybutton
Two hip bones raised sleek and strong
Paint me honestly with my carnal organ
No longer innocent but still unspoiled
Paint me two legs blemishes and all
With muscles and bruises, the scars from my falls
Draw my two knees, my calves and then
My two ankles, two feet, ten toes
The end

Sigh

2007-10-13T07:42:31Z

Why be like that for?

Stuff.

2007-10-10T11:34:10Z

Cronulla:

Putt Putt:

Demons:

Circular Quay:

2007-10-10T04:46:23Z

Circular Quay was so pretty!!

Long day

2007-10-09T12:56:11Z

Today has been a really long day. I miss Mattie so much already. He will still be on the plane from Sydney for another 4 hours. Not to mention his from from San Fran to Boston after that. I miss him and I hope that the flight is okay and that his legs don't ache to much from being cramped. I have a lot more to write but not now. I don't have the energy.

If love is a labour, I'll slave to the end.

2007-09-23T08:38:03Z

Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

Swing life away

According to my doctors certificate...

2007-09-17T11:42:42Z

I have tonsillitis, a right ear infection, conjunctivas and the flu. I am the healthiest person you shall ever meet. I also coughed up blood today but I think that was from the nose bleed I had earlier.

I hate eye drops - especially when I have to administer them to myself.

I can't believe

2007-09-14T10:21:20Z

that this is my life. Can you beleive it? Holy fucking shit!

Atreyu Revival

2007-09-13T10:34:09Z

You know how I feel when I start listening to Atreyu again. I feel so fucking alone. I want to sleep and cry at the same time.

Bleeding Mascara:
A wraith with an angel's body
A demon with a smile of gold
You soulsucker
I won't become like you
A killer with the perfect weapons, crystal eyes, and a heart of coal
You soulsucker
I won't lose myself in you

Look how pretty she is when she falls down
Now there is no beauty in bleeding mascara
Lip are quivering like a withering rose
She's back again

What the fuck do you think love means?
It's much more than words and feelings sucking me dry
Is my marrow that sweet?
Your dead lovers have left a trail of broken hearts and misspent hopes
Sucking them dry
Does their marrow taste of sweetness, sweetness?

I hope you choke

It's more than words and more than feelings, sucking me dry

Lip Gloss and Black

2007-09-10T12:50:46Z

If I gave you pretty enough words.
could you paint a picture of us that works.
an emphasis on function rather than design.
aren't you tired cause I will carry you, on a broken back
and blown out knees, I have been where you are for a while..
Aren't you tired of being weak?
Such rage that you could scream. all the stars right out of the sky
And destroy the prettiest starry night. every evening that I die. alone
I am exhumed just a little less human, and alot more bitter and cold.
after all these images of pain, have cut right thru you,
I will kiss every scar, and weep you are not alone...
then I'll show you that place in my chest where my heart still tries to beat.
aren't you tired of being weak?
Such rage that you could scream. the stars right out of the sky
and destroy the prettiest starry night. every evening that I die
live love burn and die

Stuff.

2007-08-30T11:19:55Z

Being sick is draining. I just feel exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally...my insides just ache. My teeth also ache. At least it's all happening at once - and happening now as opposed to in 28 days time.
I am really excited about Mattie. He makes me so happy and 28 days really isn't that long at all. In fact that is really soon. That being said I really miss him right now. We never get to talk and it's awful because I just miss him and I know that he misses me too.
I saw Megan and Ash tonight. I love those bitches. I wish to be asleep now. I am be try.

Tattoo

2007-08-26T12:29:05Z

So

2007-08-06T12:55:11Z

Nothing will make me feel better about this.

The Notebook

2007-08-03T04:05:08Z

I watch the notebook and I cry. Then it finishes and I do it again.

Eh

2007-07-25T08:37:57Z

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I can't make it stop.

Fuck.